Hey Mr. Sifton!

 The wreckage: "Still Life with Burned Sugar." 2011

HEY MR. SIFTON!

Dear Sam Sifton:

You owe me a new Dutch oven. Le Creuset, 2 3/4 quarts, cherry red or, if you can find it, that beautiful eggshell color. You and your culinary dabbling from the New York Times Magazine, just beyond the grasp of mere mortals, so captivate my spouse that he follows you across the coals, through pain and befuddlement. (Thank goodness we now have only your archives for comfort.) Like so:

“Heat a large Dutch oven or a heavy-bottomed pot over high heat. Add brown sugar to pot and melt, stirring with a wooden spoon, until it darkens and starts to smoke— about six minutes. When sugar is nearly black, add 2 tablespoons boiling water. (It will splatter.)”

Over 6 minutes, as the Cook resolutely stirred, choking on the acrid smoke, I saw my most beautiful Dutch oven dying a death that should be reserved for things like that aluminum saucepan from college in which I started some red beans and rice—then went out for about 5 hours, leaving it to carbonize.

This wasn’t the first time the Pied Piper charmed us down roads marked with dry cleaning bills and salty tears: there was General Tso’s Scallops (ingredient schlep alert! black vinegar); the Bulgogi Slider (the “enemy of takeout” with shaved brisket, spicy mayo, scallion salsa, and cucumber kimchi, all made separately  by “slavishly” following the instructions, which to be fair, resulted in one of the best sandwiches ever eaten—at 10 pm); and now the Jamaican Oxtail Stew, which bathed innocent oxtails in the most foul-smelling burnt sugar for hours, leaving us to hope and pray for dinner before midnight.

And here’s where I have to admit: it was delicious. Meaty, rich, and warm-your-belly spicy, served over a buttery import starch (polenta), it was a revelation. While I am certainly a competent cook (okay, okay, more than competent), sometimes I need a little shove in the direction of grease fires and bone marrow. And Santa Sifton needs a little push towards the aisle of gleaming cast iron.

Jamaican Oxtail Stew, the finished product

Merry merry,

Kristen